She's already cooked enough and packaged it up in Ziploc and Glad containers to feed an army for a week and put it into the fridge. That's for us to take home. That doesn't include the food she sets out on the table. It's always some sort of meat, usually red - prime rib, steak, ribs - plus at least one meat side dish, usually sausage. And there's always shrimp as an appetizer. Harley's a big meat eater, and it's clear she's cooking for him.
But there's plenty of carbs, too, don't get me wrong. Baked beans, cheesy potatoes, macaroni and cheese. Occasionally there's a vegetable - green bean casserole (the kind with fried onions on the top) or buttered carrots. Once in a while, a salad.
We went to my in-laws for my birthday yesterday. My mother-in-law likes to find reasons for us to come over at least once a month. My birthday is a good reason in January. We came home loaded down with food. Going there, for a food addict, is like asking an alcoholic to go to a New Year's Eve party at Cheers.
Of course, if you're going to meetings and doing what you need to do, it wouldn't matter if someone set a drink in front of you, right? You'd say no.
Me, I'm not so good at the "saying no" part. I clearly haven't gotten there yet. So my lunch today consisted of cheesy potatoes and baked beans. No protein in sight. And then there was leftover birthday cake. And she sent home two boxes of cookies. And a bag full of candy. And a gallon of ice cream, packed in ice. Of course she did.
Harley often likens her to the witch in the candy house in Hansel and Gretel. Sometimes I think he's right. And sometimes, when I'm lying in a stupid migraine-inducing sugar/carb coma after a trip to the in-laws, I wish we wouldn't keep leaving a trail of breadcrumbs that lead right back there again.
2 comments:
First of all -- happy birthday!
And secondly . . .
Going there, for a food addict, is like asking an alcoholic to go to a New Year's Eve party at Cheers.
Of course, if you're going to meetings and doing what you need to do, it wouldn't matter if someone set a drink in front of you, right? You'd say no.
As an alcoholic -- I disagree. Even on my strongest days that would be a problem for me! We learn to have lots of tools in our recovery toolbox so that we can have layers of protection. For example, if I'm going somewhere where I know there will be alcohol, I make a plan before I go. I talk to my sponsor before and after the event. I make sure I have a way to get home on my own if I need to leave, and that I know where there's an AA meeting nearby in case I really get stuck. In a restaurant, I ask that my wine glass be taken away immediately. I ask about sauces -- is the alcohol added before it's heated, or after?
These are just a few examples. There are many things you can do to protect yourself! Have you considered having a talk with your MIL and letting her know that you and your husband are trying something new? Alternatively -- you could ask to be the hostess, and then you get to serve what you want.
Your responsibility is to your recovery -- not to anyone else's feelings. You can do all these things graciously -- you seem like an amazing woman! Hang in there!
Start a compost bin/pile! Honestly, I throw out food all the time without feeling so bad about it, cause it's going to re-emerge as food for vegetables/flowers.
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